Monday, November 9, 2015

The key to any relationship




This past week I received an email from a goalie parent that included this passage...  "He has decided he does not want to play hockey after this season. The complete lack of support from his club and school coaches has sucked all the joy out of the game for him." It is always dissapointing at reading something like this but it's not out of the norm. The real question is why does it get this this point? Are the coaches trying to intentianally discourage this goalie? Is the goalie over sensitive and not responsive to coaching? How can this be stopped?

The relationship between a coach and a player is just that... a relationship. The requirements for any successful relationships are communication and respect. In my 20 years of coaching experience I find issues almost always arise out of a lack of communication and a lack on communication is, for all intents and purposes, a lack of respect. Coaches must learn how to better communicate with today's generation of athletes just as today's generation has to respect authority and experience. It is a two way street and finding that right balance is not easy. 

The majority of issues can be prevented in advance if both sides know the ground rules ahead of time. If a coach is able to clearly communicate his policies and procedure regarding selection, practice and playing time for goaltenders prior to the start of a season drama can be avoided. Depending on the age and level, parents need to hear the same message so there is consistency. When an issue arises the coach can go back to the earlier message. I urge coaches to take a few extra minutes to communicate with their players early to avoid problems later. Communication is a sign of respect that will pay dividends later. 

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